I just blogged in my pants!

Skyrim ninja - Making dragon's your bitch.

2012-01-10T13:45:00.000-05:00

Ok in Skyrim everyone always sees photo/videos of that Nordic guy, helmet and shield equipped battling a dragon. I am playing a rogue so 1. I never carry a shield, and 2. take damage quite badly. This includes dragon fire. My visions of me finally tackling these beasts always ended with my guy getting chewed up and spit out like gum.

So I set out to get all "rogue-like" on this game but I always had this lingering thought that eventually I am going to have to take down a few of these bastards that swoop over the land. So in true DJPimpDaddy fashion I achieved my goal of playing a true rogue, and take down one of the jerk dragons.

This took a long time to achieve but bear with me:

Leveled my skills to 100 in Sneak, One Handed, Smithing and some others
Took some critical perks in Smithing, Enchanting, and Most important: Assassin's Blade under Sneak
Created full set of "Enchanted Blacksmith Armor"
Created Legendary Rogue weapons: Ebony bow, Glass Dagger, etc
Found said Dragon sleep peacefully on mountainside
Snuck the hell up behind him with no armor on
Poisoned the dagger
Slit his motherfucking throat

My glass legendary dagger only does 89 damage. I poisoned it which adds 60 points damage. With full 1 handed perks it doubled any blade attack. THEN with the Assassin's Blade perk it does 15 times damage.

Killed that fucker in 1 hit with a dagger.

Take that dragon! You jerk.

Skyrim video to die for

2012-01-04T13:30:00.000-05:00

I would totally take this video out on a date it is so beautiful. No one tell my wife!

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST WATCH IT ON YOUTUBE IN FULL SCREEN 1080!

Skyrim's real treasure and some babbling about Minecraft

2012-01-03T23:34:00.001-05:00

I have been playing Skyrim and so far am loving every second of it. I will admit, in Oblivion I used that lovely item dup glitch to excess, and had a blast doing so. This time around I made the correct choice to not blatently cross the line in to cheating land, despite my best friend sending me "exploits" he has discovered.

I feel good about it, and yes I have died...a lot. But my deaths were victorious failures and learning experiences. In Oblivion I simply played a power leveled Mage/Thief who had every single spell and an arsenal of weaponry purchased with duped gold. This time around I am playing a straight rogue, even going so far as to level up my Speechcraft perks to get more gold when "seducing" merchants with my Charlize Theron look-alike character I modeled up. (HEY! If you are going to look at a character for 100+ hours you might as well give her a good face and a great body right?) (Don't judge me!)

Anyways, about that 100 hours... The deeper I get in to this amazing game the more I am dumbfounded by it's diversity, as well as riDICULOUS amount of side paths to take. The game is a nightmare for people with short attention span. I bet they never ever beat the game proper. But that might be a good thing you see. Anyways I am getting side tracked even in this blog post. OOOhhhh shiny! Wait! Focus. Focus.

Ok. Back to the conversation. Trophies! This game has the first honest to god Platinum trophy that I think I can honestly get. I am subscribed to and frequently visit some sites of some high level "gamers" (looking your direction Pacroid guys!) and I have no skillz to sit and master games anymore. I just simply don't have the time with 2 kids in diapers, and OH YEAH a minecraft server to babysit <.shamelessplug>(www.thisweekinminecraft.com) <./shamelessplug>

But I love both, and like a split parenting family I must divide my precious time between my 4 kids: my 2 sons, Skyrim, and Minecraft. I am rational so my 2 kids get 99%, but that last 1% is tough to split up. So not having mad skills and the time to perfect them, most PSN trophies are unachievable. Hell I can't FINISH most games due to time. But Skyrim...dammit this one is different. I look at the list of trophies and every single one of them is within range of normality. I can do this! I just need to "play" the game. I mean ...do this: get a trophy. do this: get a trophy. No "pwn over 9000 noobs with 360 no scope hatchet flings at 190 yards" trophies! NONE! YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!

Sooooo, I just need to put in about 200 hours of game play. 62 hours down, 138 to go! Lol. I will post again in a day with my achievements so far, but this is my new goal is to get this DAMN trophy if it kills me.

Oh yeah: Minecraft.

Day 48 - 3 on 3 NHL Arcade

2011-12-26T02:35:00.001-05:00

3 on 3 NHL Arcade
Developer: EA Canada
Publisher: EA Sports
PS3

Going to put this plain and simple:

Gigantic headed "Blades of Steel".

Verdict: Deeeeeeeeeeelete.

I beat Minecraft

2011-12-19T15:20:00.000-05:00

...and filmed it all in perfect 1080. Enjoy my first true YouTube series here:

Link to YouTube playlist: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL54BDC040DC8C6701

FULL MEDIA ASSAULT!

2011-12-12T09:27:00.000-05:00

Wow, what a year! First off, yes I am still playing Skyrim. Yes it rocks all sorts of balls. Yes I plan on playing it well through 2012 until the world ends in almost 1 full calendar year from now. Thanks MIYANS! You jerks. At least I have a healthy backlog of games to play till the end.

Moving on.

For those of you wondering why my blog has had a theoretical black out, it is pretty simple. Life. Well then after that the excuse was Minecraft. I have to admit I see a lot of people make reviews of games on their blog, and while they are great I sorta see that I am not one of those people. Instead I always wanted to play the games and talk about why I liked/disliked them, but not give any scores etc.

Minecraft is a beast. I started playing Minecraft over a year ago back when it was alpha. Since then I keep taking hits off this Swedish crack pipe almost daily. It is fantastic. Since then I have decided to completely ditch my YouTube format and make a dedicated games channel. I moved my old YouTube stuff away and now my new channel is http://www.youtube.com/TWIMCast.

This is named of course after our highly successful iTunes podcast "The TWIMCast". Please go subscribe in iTunes RIGHT NOW! Are you done? Oh yeah I need the link. Here:

http://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/this-week-in-minecraft-audio/id486242464

Can I continue? Ok I went and spent some $ and got some great video capture software for my Mac and started making a Lets Play series over the weekend. All of them were filmed in pristine 60 fps 1080! I love power.

Here is episode 1! As soon as I convince my 300Kb upload speed to squeeze episodes 2-10 I will publish those as well. Its like giving birth, but with bandwidth. 1080 is awesome, but suuuuuuucks to upload!

Ok enough rambling! Go subscribe to my new YouTube channel, enjoy, and comment! Later.

**While this embed is great: go watch it on YouTube in full screen for sweetness +2 (then subscribe dammit)

Freezing our asses off for Skyrim

2011-11-11T10:35:00.000-05:00

I am sure that I am not the only reader of this blog that spent time freezing their ass off waiting in line patiently for Skyrim last night at midnight. I arrived 20 minutes to midnight and got in line. I believe I was around 100th in line and had preordered most of a copy for PS3.

We all talked about how "balls cold it fucking [was]" and then I made a joke about forming an Occupy Gamestop protest. Later someone said near the middle of the line said that his line was actually waiting for Joan Fabrics to open up so they can buy yarn.

Over all it was a festive time standing in line with like minded people. Knowing that soon all of us would be back in our homes seeking dragons to slay.

The doors opened promptly at midnight and cheers rang out. The first 5 guys in line were apparently friends since they rode together. The guys came bursting back out the door seconds after entering screaming "WOOOHOOO" as they made a mad dash to their cars. They all went to pile in to a Honda Civic parked directly across from the Gamestop doors. The front passenger decided to go all dramatic and do a Starsky and Hutch-like slide across the hood and completely failed. He overshot, slid off, and landed on his back in the dark. All 120+ of us still waiting outside watched and laughed as his game went tumbling off in to the dark night parking lot. It was a great ending to a long cold wait.

I filtered in, picked up my copy, and as I was leaving realized that another 50+ people had formed behind me while I was in the store. Excellent night!

Oh yeah, and the game is good too. : )

Doing the happy dance! - I Come To Shanghai released Eternal Life Vol 1

2011-07-18T11:33:00.001-04:00

I turned on Twitter today which is something I rarely do these days, and I discovered that my favorite indy band I Come To Shanghai released their second album titled Eternal Life.

You can download both albums from their website http://www.icometoshanghai.com as both a donate or take for free model. I can honestly say that I feel bad I didn't pay for the first album and may now go back and re-donate. When I glanced at the statistics in iTunes, I think I have listened to the first album on average 23 times per song! The whole first album rocked, so you can see why I am so happy to get their new album. I mean, honestly it is the best free music I have ever downloaded off the internet. It is the kind of music that you are glad to have come up when you hit shuffle all on your iPhone at work. When ICTS pops in the playlist, I get lost for a few moments and let the music consume me. Some call it blacking out at work, while I refer to it as a short vacation from IT.

This time around they are not fooling around too. They both quit their jobs, moved across the country to the middle of nowhere, then focused to put out the music that makes so many of us happy. I happily donated $12 american dollars to their cause. As I ripped in to Eternal Life after the brief download I was happy to hear that they had once again changed it up. I think I remember hearing on a podcast once that Robert Ashley and Sam Frigard had a goal to never have 2 songs sound the same.

Their songs range from light soothing songs, to catchy tunes and everything in between. The great part is, every song does exactly that within the span of the 6-7 minute song which is awesome. To add more "+1 uber-ness" to their album, it has that magic of music that the mass produced radio-feed of the sheep music doesn't have: volume control! I mean when was the last time you could actually notice a "crescendo" or "decrescendo" in music???? Riddle me that! I dare you to find an example on the radio. I Come To Shanghai is taking it old school and actually using the principles of MUSIC to make good music. There is no "Produced By Timbaland Mass Marketed BS here". If you are looking for that, get the hell off my blog.

Thank you I Come To Shanghai!

You have made my Monday complete. Congratulations Sam Frigard and Robert Ashley on a job well done. I would write more but I am too busy grooving out to some wycked synth on track 2 Halley's Comet!

Day 47 - PacMan Championship Edition DX

2011-07-01T08:02:00.000-04:00

PacMan Championship Edition DX

Developer: Namco Bandai

Publisher: Namco Bandai

PSN

(Insert PacMan noise here) DJPimpDaddy casually strolls in and sits down. He dusts off his PS3 and restarts it after a long hiatus. The PS3 starts up and immediately updates, reboots, then updates again. He launches a demo. Feeling left out the demo too downloads an update. DJPimpDaddy sits idly on his couch in his home theater watching a progress bar. All he does all day at his computer job is get paid to sit there and watch progress bars. How ironic that he now comes home to spend some free time, watching progress bars...

Pacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapacapaca

I can't review this game without getting that sound out of my head. I mean, its PacMan for Christ's sake. They added some new features like frickin bombs and shiz. But in the end you are still playing PacMan. I quit after 1 minute 13 seconds. Why does Namco Bandai keep thinking that this is a cash cow? Most kids these days could give a f*&k about PacMan.

If you do actually want to play PacMan, please chose one of the other 21 sources that Namco has jammed down our throats: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Pac-Man_video_games

If you still insist on playing PacMan on your PS3, launch the web browser and play it online for free. This demo was boooooooooooorrringboringboringboringboringboringboringboringboring ..........>')

PS: I'm baaaaack! (ish) Doing contract work for various place, getting paid, and generally enjoying my life once again.

: (

2011-04-25T12:44:00.000-04:00

Why!!!!!??? The only thing I got going for me while I look for a new job.

In other news: No changes yet. Things still blow.

Day ??? - yeah...

2011-03-04T16:54:00.000-05:00

Sorry, my video game/blog life is on hold right now. We can file the reason under the heading "sudden career change".

Resumes...
Interviews...
Phone Calls...
Full dress suits and new ties...
Polite email exchanges...
....the full nine yards.

I will resume the project(and video gaming) once I know money is flowing back in to the house. Here's to a fast turn around!

: )

In the mean time play Dragon Quest 6 on DS. FANTASTIC!

- Pimp

PS: Dragon Quest collection COMPLETE! 1-9 baby. Awww yeah:

Day 46 - Lego Indiana Jone 2: The Adventure Continues

2011-02-15T04:32:00.001-05:00

Lego Indiana Jones 2: The Adventure Continues

Developer: Traveller's Tales

Publisher: Lucas Arts

PS3

The first Lego Indiana Jones game was fantastic. It followed the first 3 movies and had a fun whimsical feel to it that made it charming. This demo follows the opening scene of the 4th movie in the warehouse looking for the Arc.

Sadly this demo was not as fun as the last demo. The first trilogy had a comical spirit to it that this demo lacked. It was almost as if they were simply trying too hard. While there is an expected amount of artistic freedom when making objectives for these games, this one had bizzarre objectives like building a robot which had nothing to do at all with the movie.

I was playing it single player like the last demo so I can't comment on the 2 player aspect. But judging purely from the poor level design and odd game play objectives, I chose to terminate the demo early.

Verdict: Did not like

Day 45 - John Woo's Stranglehold

2011-02-14T05:02:00.000-05:00

John Woo's Stanglehold

Developer: Midway

Publisher: Midway

PS3

This demo had goods and bads. The character models were amazingly realistic. The demo itself even boasts "HD Gaming" on the title screen. And then the first cut scene started and the remaining world loaded. At that point the true game came out as sub-part at best. The worst of the offenders were the car models. When this car pulled in during a cut scene I thought I was playing GTA 3 again on the PS2 because of how blocky and horrible it looked. It totally clashed having a perfectly rendered character model giving dialog in front of a shitty rendered car.

So that aside the main gimmick of the game is "Tequila Time", which sadly doesn't involve drinking. You are told to basically do all sorts of dives, rolls, and stunts all while double fist shooting pistols at enemies. Pretty much you spend the entire game in these 3-4 second long slow motion scenes. Yay. <--sarcasm.

About 5 minutes in to the demo, the sound got scrambled and cut out. This left me with a half decent demo with no sound. I turned it off.

Verdict: The gimmick mechanic wasn't enough to make me want to buy this

Day 44 - Rocketmen: Axis of Evil

2011-02-13T03:54:00.005-05:00

Rocketmen: Axis of Evil

Developer: A.C.R.O.N.Y.M. Games

Publisher: Capcom

PSN

When I downloaded this demo I had 100% no idea what it would end up like. So I fired up the demo and was instantly intrigued by the comic book style art. It was intentionally made to have that cheesy "Dash Galaxy" feel to it, almost like it was made by the makers of Futurama.

So I get through all of the menus and it finally makes you chose a character. You can customize the person by the standard sex, job, hair color, skin color, etc. It was here that I noticed if you chose a female your options to chose job function pretty much determine how slutty your outfit looks. I though it was funny that when I chose to be a specific class my character walked around with her top half open, bra exposed, on the surface of a planet where the other character was clearly wearing a space suit with helmet. Apparently Victoria's Secret in the future is part of the space program. (Or Agent Provocateur for you lucky EU readers).

So I finally get in to the game playing as the "Slut" class which gives me some sort of pea shooter phaser gun thingy. My mission is to find some fuel. Ok sounds easy enough. I start moving around and suddenly I am getting overrun by aliens. I am smashing all of the face buttons on the controller and nothing is working. I panic. Finally I accidentally hit the right stick and my girl fires her pea shooter. Oh now I get it. It's a twin stick shooter! I wish they would have had a splash screen showing that or something.

So using twin stick shooter controls I began slaughtering the waves of enemies who were clearly there to gawk at my slutty space suit. I gained a half dozen power ups that gave me everything from shield power to machine guns, saw blade guns, shotguns, and more.

I think after realizing that when you play multiplayer it is cooperative play it made sense. In the photo above you see 3 players on the screen at the same time. Perhaps that(and the slutty outfit seen below) would be the real draw of the game. But alas I only played as a single player demo.

Verdict: perhaps if I was looking for a fun party game to play multiplayer.

Day 43 - Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time

2011-02-12T07:41:00.013-05:00

Ratchet and Clank: A Crack in Time

Developer: Insomniac Studios

Publisher: Sony

PS3

Now even more Ratchety! (tm) (c)

No but I kid. Who can't like the Ratchet and Clank series? Well to be brutally honest, I don't own any of them but they sure are fun. I thing after playing this demo I may pick one up finally. The characters all are perfectly made with all of their little quips and quirky ways. When I play a current gen console this is what I expect my platformers to perform like. It is fluid, it is high def, it is beautiful. And it is comical as well.

I was pressed for time while playing this demo so my time was brief but the 10 minutes I did play I loved to death. Not having played too many similar games I was unsure what all of the bolts and such I was collecting were for but it was easy to just jump in to the game and wail your way through scores of enemies.

The hover boots were fantastic. I didn't realize that you needed to hold down a button to constantly power them so on the very first ramp I hover booted my ass straight the fuck in to the chasm to my death. I had to laugh as I respawned. The second time around I made the jump perfectly.

Verdict: Yeah. Adding to the list

Day 42 - Need for Speed: Pro Street

2011-02-11T04:11:00.008-05:00

Need for Speed: Pro Street

Developer: EA Blackbox

Publisher: EA

PS3

Yes the sexy Japanese girls come with this game. Sadly I was just playing the demo so no boom boom for me dammit. Before I begin lets just click the photo and stare for a few moments. Go ahead, I will wait.

Ok, feeling better? I do. So more Needing for Speed, but this time it's for real. If you win you get the points. If I win I get the points and the respect. Wait, sorry wrong thing.

Unlike the last NfS demo I played yesterday, this one is all about long flat out single run courses instead of lapping circular tracks. You race against a handful of competitive cars that almost don't suck as bad. And, oh yeah, this one has full car damage ability so my previous technique of ramming pretty much backfires in this demo.

Once again I chose a nice hearty BMW and raced in a long gently turning level through the country side. This demo also has nitrous boosting so right off the bat I hit that shit and took off like a bat out of hell. I overtook the competition getting the head of the pack and kept my lead. Using more nitrous I pretty much wiped the competition from the slate and easily won the first race by 10 seconds head start. It was embarrassing for them. Sadly a gaggle of scantily clad Japanese girls were not waiting at the finish line to rub all over my ricer'd out BMW. But the sound track totally had that "Fast and the Furious" vibe to it so in my mind they were there.

The second time around I decided not to nitrous off the start and instead I had a harder time fighting my way through the pack. At one turn I went flipping off the road and took out a telephone pole which nearly totaled my BMW. The Japanese girls in my mind were laughing and pointing at what was left of my car as I clammered across the finish line that time. I was filled with shame.

Verdict: If I saw it cheap. It was fun after all.

Day 41 - Need for Speed: Shift

2011-02-10T12:49:00.000-05:00

Need for Speed: Shift

Developer: Slightly Mad Studios

Publisher: EA

PS3

I have not really played too many of the Need for Speed series in my gaming history. A majority of all the car driving simulators I have played all center around the Gran Turismo series from PS2 onward. So I gladly dove head first in to this demo with an open mind. Unlike previous crappy demos that force you against your will to drift, this one is just flat out circuit driving with no gimmicks. In this demo chose a BMW and took off.

Obviously this is set to where you are playing as a race driver and not illegal street racing so the car seems more real to me than a souped up ricer. Like in the GT series I found that I drove better from the "hood camera" setting giving me the most viewable area on the screen which was great.

This game provides an optional assistance line painted on the track which shows you the most optimal line you should cut through the course. For newbies like me that was a nice addition. It even helped out by giving you different color codes on acceleration and braking. If you were approaching a turn too fast there was a patch of red on the line indicating that if you hit that spot you are going to crash. By braking before you get to that spot it would turn from red to orange to signal that you just need to watch your speed as you hit that spot. Then after the turn the line changes back to green which indicated to haul ass from then on.

I came up with a winning technique to win that worked 2 tracks in a row. Haul ass, and when the game indicated that you need to brake and turn...just keep accelerating and smash in to the car in front of you. It will knock his ass off the track and you will be instantly slowed down. Then once you are in front start braking appropriately. With no damage penalty there was no reason not to get overly aggressive with the cars. Sucks to be them!

Verdict: On the fence. Perhaps there are better racer's out there.

Day 40 - Lost Planet 2 Coop Demo

2011-02-09T06:35:00.001-05:00

Lost Planet 2 Coop Demo

Developer: Capcom

Publisher: Capcom

PS3

The name is perfect. I was indeed lost on this planet. The demo world dumps you and a bunch of random people in to a coop non-PVP jungle on (pause for effect) lost planet where you are assaulted by plants that walk around pretty much trying to suck your face out of your skull. Fortunately for us I have some weapons and even better: a suit of space marine armor that 1. makes no sense at all and 2. protects my junk from pedophile ground crawling vegetation.

You play in 3rd person format so aiming and camera angles are great until you face off against a boss. At that point the camera is your enemy as you fight to see where you are going while trying to keep a critical eye on the thing that is about to smash you. My first boss battle against what I think was a dandelion went well. The 2 Japanese guys I was playing with ended up being the perfect "bait" to send forward to their death while I sat back with a frickin' Gatling gun and hosed the bastard.

I just didn't enjoy it other than watching those poor Japanese guys get mauled over and over again. We completed the first level but right before the end those hosers dumped out of the demo and I was playing solo against an army of salads. Pretty much just hold down the trigger and aim for the glowing spot. How original right? I ran out of ammo and then just to show the game how retarded it was I cannon balled through the remaining board and took a pacifistic gauntlet run and still won the level.

Verdict: Nope

Day 39 - Crystal Defenders

2011-02-08T06:26:00.004-05:00

Crystal Defenders

Developer: MFS/Winds

Publisher: Square Enix

PSN

Dear Square,

I invite you to go have sex with yourself after playing your demo.

Respectfully,

DJPimpDaddy

No seriously. This tower defense bull shit needs to die. If there is one game style that chaps me raw it is stupid tower defense games. Adding Final Fantasy characters in a 16 bit graphical setting was not any better. You'd swear you were playing this demo on a cell phone the graphics are so bad. I know that people bash Scott Pilgrim the game all the time for it's retro graphics but it was meant to be that way. This demo just feels like some dude made this in programming class at his high school and then Square gave him the choice to be sued or sell the game to them for a dollar.

Being a long running Dragon Warrior/Quest fan, I can only hope that the idiots at Square made this travesty and the Enix guys were too embarrassed to stop them.

Verdict: ...

Day 38 - Age of Booty

2011-02-07T18:19:00.000-05:00

Age of Booty

Developer: Certain Affinity

Publisher: Capcom

PSN

Arrr matey I spot's us some great gamin'

That was terrible. I apologize. I only apologize to a point though since this demo is fantastic. Age of Booty lands you in to a pirate ship set in a Real Time Strategy setting. This game immediately flashed nostalgic nights sitting in front of a 200 Mhz pc playing Warcraft 2 over and over again. The levels with the ship combat were the best. My winning strategy was always to flood the level with heavy battleships and destroy the coasts before setting off in a land battle.

AOB has similar mechanics but you focus on your own single ship.You are constantly upgrading it to keep it afloat and armed the gils. You have to take over towns and ports as you slowly make your way towards sea supremacy.

I can't find anything to knock or make fun of, which means I approve.

Verdict: Buy

Day 37 - Fat Princess

2011-02-06T07:52:00.013-05:00

Fat Princess

Developer: Titan Studios

Publisher: Sony

PSN

This demo was a charming little demo that was slightly frustrating at points but ended up still being entertaining enough to warrant possibly purchasing it. I played a 20 minute long session against AI that ended in a stalemate. The game did not actually end per say, but I had to quit since it was time to leave. I thought that it was one of those quick round style games but perhaps I was just playing it wrong.

You have to appreciate a game that makes you want to force feed someone cake to intentionally make them obese. Great stuff we are teaching our kids. Lol I joke. The game is actually fun as you guide your little dude around picking up hats that instantly change your profession to either an offensive, defensive, or support role. You then either attempt to take back your princess or fend off waves of opposing forces from taking theirs. The cake mechanic lies in your ability to fatten up their princess in order to make her difficult to carry back to their castle.

In the 20 minutes I played I never once even infiltrated their castle far enough to get to our princess, much less carry her anywhere. I did quickly realize that to break the stalemate I needed to upgrade my guys so we could fight better. By the time I was beginning to do so my time to play had ended and I had to leave IRL.

I saved the demo so I can try playing again. It seemed fun and merited more time.

Verdict: Perhaps

Day 36 - Ridge Racer 7

2011-02-05T07:52:00.001-05:00

Ridge Racer 7

Developer: Namco

Publisher: Namco Bandai

PS3

Did you like The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift? Me neither. Now you understand why I deleted this game. Let me spell this out in some logic: Drifting sucks. Games about drifting also suck. Therefor, Ridge Racer 7 sucks too by logical conclusion.

This game boasts 1080 60 frame game play. It looks amazing! There I said something nice. Ok back to the drifting.

I was happy when I started the game up and saw how great it looked. I mean, if you are going to make yet another driving game you might as well make it look beautiful. The race started, I revved the engine a few times and took off. And then I got to the first tight corner and turned. That is when I though I had spun out. But no, the game had to ruin it and suddenly my car "auto drifted" its way around the corner. Having not anticipated this I promptly crashed when I came out of the bend.

The drifting, or from here on known as sucking, mechanic blew. It ruined the game experience for me 100%. The cars, the track, the presentation were all so great too. And then suddenly they gimmicked it to the point where I rage quit and deleted it.

Verdict: Even Vin Diesel would weep over playing this one.

Oblivion - Race around Cyrodiil attempt # 1

2011-02-04T09:01:00.000-05:00

I started playing a self made quest last night in Oblivion. On a blog comment left for Oliver over at Gaming Heap I jokingly told him to walk the perimeter of Cyrodiil in Oblivion. After thinking about it all day I decided to see just how feasible that task really is.

Before I begin let me explain my character. I made a Breton female mage character that will steal your heart and leave you dead on the floor. Not only have I worked up her archer skills, but I also boosted all of her thieving abilities too to the point of god like status. My sneak level alone is 112, pretty much allowing me to go anywhere and do anything. I have been boosting my magic stats by destroying everything I can. The great part about this game is the endless caves, ruins, and fortresses to explore and loot. Having a carefree attitude and just exploring and fighting without a plan has given me a level 30 character. I have bought damn near every magic spell in the game, and I also have an arrow set worthy of an assassin.

Speaking of which I have joined and almost mastered every guild and faction except the fighter's guild. My latest feat was the Dark Brotherhood.

So back story aside, I setup my HD camera last night and start the epic journey. I drained my character of all excess items to lose extra weight and set off. Like my typical journeys I am constantly jumping and casting spells to boost my levels. I make my way down to the far South East corner of the map. I plant a starting arrow, start a stopwatch app on my iPhone, and head north.

After about 20 minutes I realize that I have only traveled about 3/4 of the way to the top of the board. The invisible border is not a straight shot and it requires you to constantly zip zag back and forth, probing for the boundary of the game. Eventually you start climbing mountain regions which take a little skill to jump back and forth to gain the top without having ti divert too far or worst, backtrack.

Having walked all the way to the north east corner I set off west along the tallest mountains in the game. I was set upon by an unknown creature that I will blog about later but it was totally unexpected. After looting that dead enemy I went a few minutes further and accidentally fell to my death off the side of a cliff. What a horrible ending to the journey! Even worst, it had been like 20 minutes since my last save.

So in the end, I traveled 1/3 the perimeter (guessing), I think I killed Sasquatch, I walked for almost 35 minutes solid, saved once, killed about a dozen creatures quickly that got in my way, and then died because my dumb ass fell off a cliff. What a failure.

I am going to retry this again this weekend now that I know what to expect. Definitely need to stock up on beer, some munchies, and a comfortable pillow for the couch. It will be one hell of a journey. I might also try and post the "creature" from last night on YouTube. I will have to review the footage from the camera to even remember what it was.

Day 35 - Tom Clancy H.A.W.X.

2011-02-04T07:40:00.004-05:00

Tom Clancy H.A.W.X.

Developer: Ubisoft Romainia

Publisher: Ubisoft

PS3

This demo has a great acronym. The H.A.W.X. clearly stands for, DON'T BUY THIS GAME. Ok, that doesn't match up with the letters exactly but in my mind it made funny sense.

Pretty much I should have expected this game to be subpar by 2 clues:

1. So far I have yet to find a game that says "Tom Clancy" on it that I enjoy and

2. Most games that have acronyms usually end up s.u.c.k.i.n.g.

In TCH (I refuse to spell it out anymore) you get to fly planes around and shoot baddies from the air. The plane models look relatively ok and the flying is meh. There were only a few things I could say positive about this demo. For starters the topology was decent given that this is a flight sim. Your first mission you are fighting a battle over Rio Di Genaro and as you can see in the photo above this flight sim actually has buildings in it! Most flight sims just paint photos of buildings on the ground and expect the player to use their imagination to fill in the blanks.

Another interesting aspect of this demo was the tracking ability. In just about every flight sim you play you are dog fighting your way to bring your guns on target. This means typically you identify a target and then keep making hard banking turns over and over again until your weapon systems are facing the enemy. At that point the missile lock kicks in and you fire. This is one thing I typically hate about most video games with air to air combat(helicopter battle aside). You spend half the game turning. And then you turn. And then you turn again. But this game unlike the typical fly sim that gives you an arrow to turn towards it gives you the best path to intercept the enemy. If you follow the rings that pop up you can turn LESS and correct your flight to attack faster. Brilliant.

I think the reasoning is, in a true flight sim they don't need this feature since most pc gamers always rig the ability to turn your head as well, so you can personally track the enemy as you bank your plane. In console, swiveling your head either requires a 6th and 7th finger for the controller or will lead you to your doom and fly in to a mountain or something.

Verdict: Nah

Some Oblivion updates to follow

2011-02-03T12:41:00.001-05:00

I think I will film some Oblivion videos tonight if I get some free time. In the mean time watch this old but still funny video on 100 Way to Die in Oblivion.

Edit: Epic!

Day 34 - Critter Crunch

2011-02-03T07:43:00.002-05:00

Critter Crunch

Developer: Capybara Games

Publisher: Sony?

PSN

So, from what I can tell you are a little furry thing. You use your Yoshi length tongue to grab smaller enemies and spit them in to large enemies. Those larger critters then explode from gluttony and drop jewels. That is the gist of the game in the short form. While the level of the enemies slowly drops, if you start frenzying you can almost clear the entire board quickly. There are other side game play aspects like fruits that give you power ups and special abilities.

And then there is your son... Eventually if you get a specific combo you son wanders in on the side of the screen. You get bonus points if you wander over to him and vomit a rainbow in to his mouth. I wish I was making that up, but see the photo above for proof.

Some of the fruit power ups give you attack abilities like the ability to spit watermelon seeds and take out lines of dropping critters. I did not learn any other fruit power ups because after about 10 minutes of game play I was terrible bored with this demo. It just had that special quality of "suck" that made me quit and delete it.

Verdict: Fail

Updated edit: I laughed pretty hard when I discovered that my article was longer than the entire wikipedia page for this game. I will paste it below:

"Critter Crunch is a puzzle game by Capybara Games for the iPhone OS and PlayStation Network.^[2]
In Critter Crunch, players assume the role of Biggs, a friendly, furry forest dweller with an unending hunger for tasty critters. Using his long tongue, Biggs must set the food chain in motion by launching smaller critters into the waiting mouths of larger ones, clearing the screen and filling his belly.
[edit]Reception
It has an average of 86/100 at Game Rankings.
1UP: 9.5/10
IGN: 8.5/10"

Day 33 - Voodoo Dice

2011-02-02T08:00:00.003-05:00

Voodoo Dice

Developer: Exkee

Publisher: Ubisoft

PSN

Most puzzle games bore me. I mean, you can't beat classics like Tetris or Dr. Mario, bu beyond that they all just fall short on originality fort the most part. Voodoo dice on the other hand perked my attention when I began playing and understanding the mechanics. For one, you are simply a die that you roll around the board, moving 1 flop at a time in 1 of 4 directions. So simple of an idea, until you come across a barrier and you have to match a number to it to dissolve it. Then you must flop around until the correct number comes up.

The graphics are consistent with the next gen platform it is on. There is also an XBox live and Wii ware version but from screenshots the Wii version is the worst which is expected. The simple game board layout and reasonable action sequences make for a smooth HD experience. No motion blur needed since you are moving a slow pace. But don't mistake the slow movement of the die as an indicator of the game's intensity. There is also the dreaded timer shown which visually shows you how much you suck when compared to what the game designers think is a good time.

I think in the 5-6 games I played I never once came below the target time. This doesn't hurt your progress thought. You still advance but you just don't get medals etc. When you complete the level and then see the target time you get those thoughts of "what super human hand eye coordination" does someone need to hit that time?!! I think to really play this game hardcore you must be twitching on meth or something. Either way, it is nice to see a game that at least lets you advance despite not finishing under the crazy time limit.

So if you are bored of most puzzle games download this demo and check it out. I had a lot of innocent fun playing this.

Verdict: Buy on sale

Day 32 - Heavy Rain

2011-02-01T09:57:00.001-05:00

Heavy Rain

Developer: Quantic Dreams

Publisher: Sony

PS3

Spoiler: It rains a lot.

I regret not buying this game. The demo for Heavy Rain leaves you sitting in the rain in an alley. It gives you some brief instructions on how to guide the "dick" (detective - get your mind out of the gutters!) to an apartment building where you have to interrogate a whore. Unfortunately nothing I did could get him to uh...render services... from said whore.

During your time in the whores apartment you walk around checking for bed bugs and discussing whoring or whatever. I was still trying to battle the controls at that stage. Finally you leave the whore's apartment without getting some whore'n and as you leave a bully busts in to the whore's apartment and starts pimp slapping dat azz. Your character, the dick, decides to be a good citizen and defend the whore from the pimp slappin. You engage in a WWF style battle royal (minus the wrestling belt, Hulk Hogan mustache, and Vincent McMahon doing play by play) and struggle to overcome the brute. As you struggle you continue to do "QuickTime of death" button mashing. Unlike other games, if you miss a combo or button queue in this game the fight slightly changes to the enemies favor a lot more fluidly. That impressed me, despite the whore not giving up some cookie.

In the end you finally overpower the jerk, and you save the whore. She repays you by still refusing to give some free whore'n. Thanks whore!

The scene then switches to another scene (spoiler: Its still raining). You are at a crime scene and more button QuickTime events ensue. Overall, I typically don't like QuickTime event games, but the story and fluid game mechanics are heavily intriguing. I had a lot of fun and I will definitely buy it used.

Verdict: WIll buy, if only to try my luck with the whore once again.

Day 31 - Stuntman Ignition

2011-01-31T04:16:00.001-05:00

Stuntman Ignition

Developer: Paradigm Entertainment

Publisher: THQ

PS3

Quiet on the set! Rolling camera. Action.

I rev the engine and go tearing down a movie set, across a fissure in the ground, and detonate the explosives under my car at the precise moment. I hit the jump. I smash into the wrong house.

CUT!

This demo of the game makes you run through a few movie scenes where you are required to hit several marks and queues, all while blasting through the level in the designated vehicle. In my limited film career we have yet to employ a stuntman, but some of the stuff you do is over the top. It is however very fun.

I have read that the last Stuntman game was frustratingly difficult since if you missed one single mark you fail. In this demo, you have a flexible path to take and there are only a few failure spots. Apparently killing the camera man by running his dolly down is one of those "instant fail" moments. Hey, he was a union cameraman. He understood the risks of filming inches from the road where my dumbass would zoom past with a car completely on fire.

Verdict: I would like to see where this game leads beyond the demo. I had fun playing it. Buy cheap.

Day 30 - NHL 2K9

2011-01-30T04:03:00.002-05:00

NHL 2K9

Developer: 2K Sports

Publisher: 2K

PS3

Once again: "I suck at sports games". I need that as a scrolling banner across the blog lol.

In this demo I happily played as the Detroit Redwings, just because. Screw everyone else. I lost to Pittsburg which double sucked because, well Pittsburg blows balls in real life. To virtually getting my ass whipped by them hurt in real life too. What a failure.

The last hockey game I played and loved was Blades of Steel on NES. How could you not love that classic game? Well sir, this is no Blades of Steel. For one, I spent several precious minutes trying my hardest to start a fight and couldn't. In BOS I could get a fight going within 30 seconds of the game start. No such luck in this demo sadly.

The visuals were above my expectations. Sports games have come a long way in the case of realism and visuals. I had a very hard time following the puck. Real tv having that shadow over the puck has spoiled me. The announcers were typical and the dull roar the crowd got annoying since I kept losing more and more. In the end I rage quit before the last few seconds.

Verdict: Nope

Day 29 - Dirt 2

2011-01-29T01:42:00.008-05:00

Dirt 2

Developer: Codemasters

Publisher: Codemasters

PS3

I had a blast playing this demo. That is, once I got through the strange mix of menus, and selections to get to the actual racing. The demo dumps you in to a RV and you must make various selections to get to the races by looking at maps, then wandering outside, and eventually finding your vehicle. In my case I went straight to the trophy trucks.

Unlike Motorstorm I was able to KEEP THE FUCKING VEHICLE ON THE TRACK. Small accomplishment I know. In Motorstorm the vehicle is always just a hair over out of control all the time. The the few(I can count on one hand) victories were because the AI players all wrecked more than I did. In Dirt 2, the tide was turned and I felt like I was able to maintain full control except for those times when you ramp sky bound in the truck, hopefully pointing at the correct spot to return to earth on the track in the correct direction.

Another great positive that I didn't even notice until the race was over was the lack of music. During the race there was none at all. There was only the roar of the trophy truck's engine, the occasional radio chatter from your pit, and the rush of the dirt mixed with me "nudging" the other players out of the way with the front of my truck. Hey, rubbing's part of racing right? They even had a horn button. I did the gentlemanly thing and honked before I rammed them.

After the race you have the option of watching a full playback of the race. This was impressive since there were nearly a dozen camera angles to view it from. This was also where they mixed in a blasting heavy metal track. I honestly liked the fact that they did not distract you during the race with a soundtrack. It was better than watching a live baja race on tv. On tv they don't smash each other off the track ha ha!

Verdict: I think I may sell Motorstorm and find this cheap

Day 28 - UFC Undisputed 2010

2011-01-28T03:28:00.007-05:00

UFC Undisputed 2010

Developer: Yuke's

Publisher: THQ

PS3

I suck at sports games. I pulled off a win at this demo buy mashing the buttons and eventually spamming the mid kick button. If you are going to hurt someone repeatedly kick them in the ribs. Then sucker punch them in the face to raise their arms, then continue kicking in the ribs. Excellent strategy if you ever square off against a foe in a dark alley.

You are able to play a few bouts in UFC Undisputed 2010's demo for PS3 which was enough to see how lifelike the game seems. Not only are the character models rendered perfectly to where you can see sweat and blood drips on the mat, but the movement animations and the tactile feedback from the dualshock was great as well. When you got chopped in the face, you felt it. Hell, the crowd felt it too.

Playing as Lyoto Machida I was paired up against Rampage Jackson. These were randomly assigned. I don't know any of the actual contestants in the real life UFC circuit so they meant nothing to me. I was able to spam my way to a victory in 1:15 seconds with a Knockout. Now I am sure that spamming the buttons is not the way to win, but when I play sports games typically this is my angle of attack.

Not to be left out, the announcers were a perfect addition to the game as well. It wasn't your typical canned repeated phrases over and over. It was almost as if you had two live announcers giving play by play to your own fight. They changed up their inflections, excitement and banter the closer I got to the knock out.

In the end, I enjoyed the demo but this game is one I would not play too often if at all. Perhaps the online fighting ranks and multiplayer is great for some people. but not me.

Verdict: Nah

Day 27 - Sky Fighter

2011-01-27T05:22:00.001-05:00

Sky Fighter

Developer: TikGames

Publisher: TicGamesLLC

PSN

I fired this up and it instantly reminded me of a HD version of Sky Kid for the NES. It is a side scrolling level with all sorts of ground and air enemies to shoot and bomb. Unlike Sky Kid you can fly at incremental angles and make very subtle elevation changes.

Your weapons in the demo are single fire, fully automatic machines guns, and little bombs. These allows you to reap destruction across the beautiful slowly scrolling landscape.

For a fighting game the levels are gorgeous, bright, and cheery. This is a pleasant surprise from the typical WW1/WW2 brown scorched earth games. It almost has a comical light hearted feel to it.

I struggled at first and kept crashing. I was trying to fly the plane as if it was a remote control plane so I was making turns in relation to the plane itself. What I realized and finally adjusted to was that you just point the stick at the direction you want the plane to go. I was overly complicating it. In the end it is a simple yet fun game.

Verdict: Purchase and download if on sale some day.

Day 26 - Conan

2011-01-26T04:56:00.009-05:00

Conan

Developer: Nihilistic Software

Publisher: THQ

PS3

This demo was what I totally expected it to be. A game, with a barbarian, with a massive sword, with a hot woman side kick, with a lot of blood, and rippling pectorals.

KROM!

So you start the demo out and you come across a hot scantily clad woman. Typical Conan he acts like a douche and tells her to buzz off. She follows you with her bow and arrow yet never uses them the dirty wench. You have to free some sailors/pirates to be able to take the ship. At the first junction you are told to rescue a prisoner from a cage. Using his bulking muscles he rips the cage in twain and pulls the sailor out. For a split second I thought that I had rescued Kratos. The prisoner was dressed and tatoo'd just like the GOW star. That could have been a poke at the rival game. I don't know for sure.

So stopping to look at the controls I noticed that one of my buttons is labeled "camel punch". So using the camel punch I had the "govinator" punch a guy so hard his ancestors got bruised. I felt as if I could punch a hole in the moon it was so hard. So punching my way through scores of enemies I ran out of things to punch so I started punching objects in the environment and destroyed pretty much everything. In the end there was a mountain of dead bodies, and a whole wharf of broken shit. I wanted to blast Drowning Pool's 2006 hit "Let the bodies hit the floor" to match the violence and blood splats. It was fantastic.

In the end the best part of the game was when I discovered that I could grab an enemy and use him as a weapon. Swinging a guy by his feet and smashing his fellows like you are hitting them with a baseball bat is breath taking.

Verdict: Buy used

KROOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!

Day 25 - The Chronicals of Narnia Prince Caspian

2011-01-25T05:09:00.000-05:00

The Chronicals of Narnia Prince Caspian

Developer: Traveller's Tale

Publisher: Disney Interactive Studios

PS3

Disney got bloody!

I remember back in the day when Disney was a wholesome family company that did no evil. Now it dumps you into a battle royal of mythical proportions.

Ok blood aside I hated this demo. For starters the 2 characters that you start with all move around like they have sticks up their asses. Perhaps they really do in Narnia. I wouldn't know since I read real fantasy and not this drivel. Ok I just said that last line to get some people commenting on the blog. Any hits are good hits lol. But really I have not read anything beyond the classic Lion Witch and the Wardrobe that was forced down our throats in school. So these Disney movies and extensive merchandising opportunities like this game are lost on me. I could care less about the characters in the game since there is absolutely no backstory given. None! They just say "here are 2 guys, one has a bow, good luck fucker" and leave you in a forest. For people like me not knowing anything at all about the story I felt that the demo was made for die hard fans and not the casual player that might pick it up by chance.

Continuing, You start being attacked by "humans" that apparently disagree with whatever plot you are secretly (to the fans) wrapped up in. Because of this I used my mind to make my own plot since the developer left this to the player. In my story a bunch of dudes run out of the woods trying to rape me. That is the story line I wrote in my head. I was after all playing as a fair skinned blonde boy wearing tights. I kept looking through the button controls for a button combination to summon Chris Hansen to have my enemies "have a seat over there" on camera but alas the developer did not include such combo. I was left with my crappy sword to defend my character's unspoiled flower from dirty armored pedophiles.

After taking down 2 groups of rapist, I saw a glowing spot on the ground. I walked over it expecting to gain ultimate power or a save point or something. Apparently I was now standing in a smoldering camp fire. I died. The respawn resets the level completely. I was now being re-swarmed by the same group of boy rapist once again.

Eventually you make your way into a camp where you are offered glowing weapons of some significance to fight off more rapist. This helped fight rapist off, but eventually you come to a cliff. This is where I started cussing. Your precious fairy ginger boy that you play as has a grappling rope with a hook. You are supposed to swing it around (per the on screen button queues) and climb the cliff. I kept mimicking the on screen command over and over again and nothing. He would drop the rope like the little fairy boy he is. After like the 9th try I accidentally convinced the demo's programming that I had done the button presses correctly and he threw the rope up. I went to climb it and your character can't carry up his super weapon and climb at the same time so he drops it! So I get up to the top, and fight off more rapist, and all I get is a stupid treasure chest that gives you "points". Are you kidding me? I just fought off dozens of rapist trying to defile my boyhood innocence, traversed an annoying cliff sequence, and lost my glowing sword-of-slay-pedophile just to gain points. I rage quit the demo and deleted it.

Verdict: Let the pedophiles in this demo have the kids. I care not for their quest.

Followup: Wow I just wrote 650 word on a demo I hated. That has to be a record.

Day 24 - Wanted: Weapons of Fate

2011-01-24T09:49:00.000-05:00

Wanted: Weapons of Fate

Developer: Grin

Publisher: Universal Studios

PS3

Right off the bat in this demo I loved how the settings from hard to easy were listed as killer, assassin, and pussy. I played on pussy setting.

I jumped right in to the game skipping the tutorial which I regretted. You start off inside the cargo bay of an airliner. You see an anchored down red car a few feet away. Your guy sneaks towards it and zooms in on a guy sitting in the seat with the windows down. The very first line in the demo from the guy was "She was a whore". You character then shoots the guy in the face. At this point it released control and you are told to make your way to the cockpit. Dozens of guys start firing all sorts of weapons ranging from pistols to assault rifles at you down the cargo bay. Ironically none of these bullets destroy the integrity of the airplane causing it to blow out.

The move forward killing these enemies reminds me heavily of the N64 Goldeneye level on the train. It is a matter of ducking for cover behind crates and blasting enemies that are also hiding. I died about half way up when my erratic shooting made me run out of ammo and they swarmed me. After then completing the tutorial level and understanding the game play and controls I replayed and made it topside in the plane. I then apparently blew up a coffee machine or something which blew out the emergency exit of the plane, which sucked me out to my doom.

The game tutorial trains you in all sorts of assault techniques, including the "dreaded" bending a bullet path. Mythbusters proved that this is impossible. After that the premise of the move and now the game seemed ridiculous. One thing that I did think the game did well was the ability to flank and suppress enemies. Having your character be able to easily blind fire around obstacles and visually seeing the enemies dive for cover and thus be suppressed was something I have not seen done well yet in my demo fest. But this mechanic alone was not enough to make me want to continue playing it. Perhaps if I was playing as a scantily clad Angelina Jolee I would have interest in continuing. Maybe it's time to fire up that Bayoneta demo...

Verdict: Deleted. Not interested.

Quick update on 100 days of demos

2011-01-23T23:11:00.000-05:00

After deciding to start the project of playing 100 days of demos I have gotten a lot of great feedback, and a healthy boost of blog views. I even got another subscriber too! You know who you are. I only wanted to cut back on my hard drive space but what has happened so far has been an amazing journey. I came across a side effect that has now taken center stage of my project, whether indented or not.

I am now playing games that I don't want to play, by force. I downloaded the demo and my punishment is playing them. A great example is sports games. If I hate most sports games why the hell did I download a 2 Gb demo??? Perhaps it was my subconscious telling me that desperately need to break out of my mold. Sadly I still can't put my finger on what my mold is anymore. Growing up I would tell you that I love adventure fantasy RPG style games. I am a long time fan of the Dragon Warrior/Quest line. I never strayed too far into Final Fantasy beyond the SNES days. And yes before you ask I still have not played FF7 beyond a few hours into the game.

But with the PS3 and the ability to just dump a hundred Gbs of random games into my lap, I have discovered entire new realms of games that I would have never even given a chance if I was standing in a game store with cash in hand. For example I never played a FPS since Goldeneye on N64 untill I accidentally played a demo of Battlefield: Bad Company a few years back. Since then I now celebrate several great EA Battlefield titles and play them to an average level of play.

Another great example is Dante's Inferno. My good friend Joe has been telling me to get God of War 3 and play it on PS3. I tell him that I was never a fan of mashing buttons in combos and quicktime events. But playing Dante's Inferno on day 2 of this 100 day journey left me speechless. I bought it that day, almost within the hour!

As I approach the 1/3 mark in this 100 days(I am about a week ahead with blog posts) I feel that I have actually grown with my gameplay. This was an excellent idea and I encourage others to do so. So go out and fill up your hard drives with demos! If anything, you will get 15 minutes of something you will love or hate.

Day 23 - LittleBigPlanet 2

2011-01-23T01:45:00.002-05:00

LittleBigPlanet 2

Developer: Media Molecule

Publisher: Sony

PS3

Seeing how this game just was released I dedicated this weekend to playing both demos back to back. The first demo was charming and cute. The second demo was the same with a bigger dash of awesome.

The very first level you are dumped into a vertical climbing board where you must use a grapple hook to swing your way to the top. It is timed for points. To put it simply, it was the fantastic follow up to the first demo which was great as well.

After playing both demos I would definitely be more inclined to buy the second. Sadly now that the second one is out I would be shocked if I couldn't find a copy for cheap finally. The second one will be $60 for a long time for sure following in the success shadow.

Also like the first I did not play any of the online levels so I am not even scratching the surface of this game's potential.

Verdict: I think I will purchase this if I can find it cheaper than full price.

Day 22 - LittleBigPlanet

2011-01-22T09:41:00.000-05:00

LittleBigPlanet

Developer: Media Molecule

Publisher: Sony

PS3

This game has excellent reviews, and fans beyond the galaxies. I just never played this demo before because I never had the time to dedicate to something that needs time to play. I did not want to short change it and fail to give it enough time to give it a fair yes or no.

So I sat down and planned on playing this for at least 30 minutes if the demo would let me. I knew going in to it that no matter what the real strength of the game lies in the user generated content that the demo might not even tap into. For this reason alone I would have to base my decision completely from the demo.

The demo was charming, cute, and easy. Guiding your sackboy through the level was a breeze, but the rich environment was a positive. I hate games that just don't pop visually, given that it is one of the best consoles in recent history(Don't hate if you own a 360, I just don't own one). The game had the same visual power of a slice of German Dark Chocolate Cake. It was like, "you know you are going to eat this and love it".

I absolutely loved how the developers had all of their excellent reviews and scores splattered throughout the first level. In many demos I have played they force feed you the reviews by unskippable splash screens that leave you mashing buttons in vain. In LBP they appear as background text but mostly in comical ways that fit the charm of the game. They are never obstructive, but instead add to the overall feel of the level. For that I applaud the developers.

In the end, I think I will get this game but I fear that I won't have enough time to dedicate to enjoying it, or getting my value from the purchase. I know that finding it used will be difficult since it surely is a game that most owners will never resell.

Verdict: Find used

Day 21 - Disney - Pixar Up

2011-01-21T05:09:00.010-05:00

Disney - Pixar Up

Developer: Heavy Iron Studios

Publisher: THQ

PS3

"Sucked." - DJPimpDaddy

Ok, I guess I will write more. But only because I love you.

Having loved the movie by Pixar I was enthusiastic about finally starting the demo. Instead of that Disney fueled ecstasy trip I was expecting, the demo ended up like a cheap Chinese pirated version of said movie. That, and change the plot to where it sucked instead of rocked like the original movie did. Yeah...that.

The graphics were ABYSMAL. Pixar should pay to remove their name from this project. I swear I hope the demo really is not representative of the final product. They were all pixelated, with rough edges. Definitely NOT the smooth HD quality that Pixar publishes. Having just played the TMNT game I was depressed to see the poor quality from Heavy Iron Studios in this demo.

The sound was meh. The opposing characters were just downright annoying in their constant nagging voice prompts. The level that you go through is apparently the tutorial, which blew goats. And then at the end they stop the level mid walking, and dump you into a rails level where you and the boy are being rushed down a water chute and you must dodge oncoming obstacles. Then just as you think you are reaching a boss battle with a serpent...the demo ends and dumps you to a pop up screen with "buy this game" splashed across the screen. No thanks THQ.

Like in many demos before I was at least slightly amused to see that you can smack the shit out of the other character. Playing as the old man I gave that fat little Boy Scout the beating of his life with my cane. It made me feel just a little better about myself before I vanquished this foe of a demo from my hard drive, with extreme prejudice.

Verdict: Go fuck yourself Heavy Iron Studios for ruining my impressions of a great movie.

Day 20 - TMNT: Turtles In Time Re-Shelled

2011-01-20T05:24:00.000-05:00

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time Re-Shelled

Developer: Ubisoft

Publisher: Ubisoft

PSN

Let looks at the facts: I own and love the original on NES. I love and embrace modern gaming systems. I own a home theater complete with HD projector and amazing sound system. This game just fits right in perfectly.

I will be purchasing this also for another great reason. It will give me an excuse to finally buy a second PS3 controller! I know, I have lasted this long with just one single controller. It's not that I don't have friends that come over. It is just that when they do they are blown away typically by what I am playing and just chose to sit there and spectate. I once entertained 7 friends in my basement when they asked to watch me play Bad Company 2 multi player. I obliged of course, always trying to be the entertainer, and they all sat as I humorously pwned noobs before their very eyes.

So where was I? Oh yeah! TMNT TIT R (<---actual acronym - lol)

The updated graphics are perfect for this game. It is still cartoony enough, with updated uber crisp art style, yet retained the original style from the NES game. The sound has also been redone to be pumped through new high end sound systems.

The only negative that I could find was a ding about the demo start up screen which won't affect the actual game. When I started it my surround system was still set at a higher volume and to say that this demo's sound level is also set high would be a complete understatement! I about blew the basement windows out from the sub woofers alone. The whole incident scared the aforementioned baby that was just fed(see this post). I cut the receiver level in half and it was still loud. Finally I got it down to a level where I could calm the baby down so I could test this demo quickly.

I did notice that since they have additional buttons they mapped some new moves to the triangle button. I did not get to really test that out too long, but it was nice considering the original only had A and B. Like the original you could easily use the D-Pad on the Dualshock, but you could also use the left stick as well which hurt the fingers less.

Verdict: I will buy if I see it on sale along with a 2nd Dualshock

A Valentine's Treat from Square Enix - Dragon Quest 6!

2011-01-19T15:08:00.001-05:00

I love you Dragon Quest.

That is all, hope you weren't expecting me to write more. I am just enjoying this Dragon Quest joygasm from the Nintendo email.

Day 19 - Tom Clancy's EndWar

2011-01-19T05:57:00.002-05:00

Tom Clancy's EndWar

Developer: Ubisoft Shanghai

Publisher: Ubisoft

PS3

With a bold typed name of "Tom Clancy" smeared across this I was sure this would be a AAA title demo. Man was I off! My perceptions about what this game would be were not even in the same realm as what it ended up being. I slightly expected a FPS game based upon the artwork, and it ended up being a semi-turn based RTS.

In the demo you guide your 2 little platoons around a board protecting and specific area and battling incoming foes. You give them orders to move to exact spots and then they make their way there and open fire on advancing evil. But you only have so many actions to make before the end of your turn. This game does however remove or mask the turns and makes it all appear more fluid. In the end you are still taking turns firing at each other but I will give them credit for doing it better than most.

One thing that the demo even included was the ability to do voice commands to bark orders at your troops. The first few minutes of the demo was intended to train the PS3 to recognize your voice commands. I will be honest, I was too lazy that night to walk across the room and fish out my PS3 headset. I skipped the setup and did not use this feature.

Somehow I won the first round, despite skipping most of the tutorial and not knowing anything about the game. I want to say that it was my glorious leadership that led my men to victory over the oppressive opposing forces. We showed them the bayonet! ***(no bayonets where harmed in the making of this play through)

Verdict: It was ok but I don't see myself playing it. Deleted.

Attack helicopters and breast milk - The story of my after work hour

2011-01-18T18:38:00.004-05:00

The literal pile of shame: PS3 division

Dear Apache Air Assault, ...welcome to the PS3 pile of shame(unfinished games). Don't get discouraged I will try not to shame you like I have shamed GTA 4, Fallout3, and others. Hopefully your stay won't be too long and you can be off the shame list.

Motorcross! I see you sneaking to the top. Bad game! Get to the back where you belong.

So I donated the last of my Christmas gift cards today to acquire the promised copy of Apache Air Assault. The only complaint I have(other than Gamestop sucks) is that you are required to play the tutorial only in arcade mode once before it unlocks the realistic mode that sold me completely in the demo. No real loss of too much effort since the tutorial is rather brief and less than 10 minutes if you know how to fly the chopper already.

But replaying it in realistic mode sparked that inner fire of awesomeness. I only put the helicopter in to auto hover mode once to be able to shoot with the FLIR camera one handed while feeding the baby next to me on the couch his bottle. That worked out somehow too surprisingly despite the logistics of holding a baby and flying the worlds most advanced attack helicopter.

After the baby was fed and content, I switched back to flight and finished off the tutorial level with a perfect score. On a stupid whim I had a last minute decision to roll it hard and the fucking Apache did a perfect barrel roll. This was accidentally completed with that awesome chime we all love to hear with the unlocking of a trophy. I laughed my ass off when I saw the name:

I was trying to figure out how to export the saved replays so I can share the awesome with you guys. But alas I have some Final Cut work to complete tonight so no more goofing time. I at least got 2 more demos in before I had to stop for the night.This game will definitely be in the console for a while, or at least within reach on the coffee table. Now all I need is to train my older 2 1/2 year old son to be my gunner in coop!

To Gajin Studios: Fuck yeah! Great job. I will try and email you a Brofist asap.

Day 18 - Siren: Blood Curse

2011-01-18T07:43:00.000-05:00

Siren: Blood Curse

Developer: Japan Studio

Publisher: Sony

PS3

Right off the bat I was impressed with this demo but the more I played it I slowly changed my mind. I was amazed by the style of this game. Hell even the font of the menus impressed me. If anything the demo inspired me to try harder with future designs.

Ascetics aside, the demo is very dark. Literally. It is a survivor horror game where you wander around in the pitch dark with a flashlight that sorta works. You pick up objects in the environment to use as make shift weapons. I chose the car axle. I used this to beat the crap out of what I think was some zombie Japanese miners. Ironically when you meet up with your companion you can smack the crap out of her too, if you are in to that I suppose. In my case she kept standing between me and the zombies. Move!

This style of game usually doesn't appeal to me in a demo setting since to really get in to a dark horror game you have to play it for far longer than 15 minutes. The enemies all pop out like spring loaded cats. They try to latch on to you before you can swing your weapon. To make matters worse the lead character is pretty much a pussy and can't swing anything to save his life. Eventually in the demo I was overrun by too many enemies and I died.

While the game was visually appealing, I did not enjoy the game play. I am willing to at least give the demo another try in the future. Sometimes games like this take a second try to get into.

Verdict: Initially meh. Might try again later.

Day 17 - Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures

2011-01-17T14:19:00.001-05:00

Lego Indiana Jones: The Original Adventures

Developer: Traveler's Tales

Publisher: LucasArts

PS3

Like the other Lego games, this one hits home with it's cute/fun play. The Lego Indiana Jones demo lets you play an entire level from beginning to end, and in this case it is a level based loosely on the opening scenes from the Temple of Doom.

As in previous Lego games you also have an AI controlled partner that you can chose to assist of push off of cliffs. I chose the latter many times just to watch the comical "clawing at open air" animations. The opening level's partner is some random dude with a shovel. It was like I had ensign Ricky in my landing party.

Stupid extra character aside, this game was fun. I enjoyed this demo more than the Lego Star Wars. The comical graphics, and light hearted simple tasks are simple enough that once my son gets old enough to hold a controller we will play this game and have some good father son video game time together. Yet they at least are enjoyable where an adult doesn't feel like they are completely playing a Dora the Explorer game either.

Verdict: Buy it cheap

Day 16 - Apache Air Assault

2011-01-16T19:12:00.009-05:00

Apache Air Assault

Developer: Gaijin Studios

Publisher: Activision

PS3

I just want to go on record by saying that this is the best flight sim game I have ever played. Having said that, you can now see why I am going to actively find and purchase this game. I downloaded this demo on a whim. In most new FPS games there are always some helicopters that you can fly around and typically the guys that master flying them are an invaluable asset to the team. This game pushes it further in to the realism arena. While there is an arcade setting the strength of this game lies in the "realistic" setting which makes the helicopter perform the way it should.

I crashed 7 seconds in to the game.

I then decided to take the few tutorial flying lessons that were offered by the demo. I slowly progressed my way through them one at time and eventually I graduated to some full on combat. I was 100% blown away at the entire feel of the demo and played it a few times through, progressing further and further as I honed not only my ability to not make the damn Apache crash in to a mountain side but also that critical ability to have weapons on target.

The auto hover button saved my ass several times. Once you engage the auto hover the onboard computer takes over the flight and first stabilizes the vehicle. You can still have too much momentum for the vehicle to auto correct before smashing in to the ground. Pretty much if you see the terrain warning you have a mere 2-3 seconds before the seat cushion below you goes crashing through your spine. The first few games I spent just fighting the controls of the helicopter, having not even played the game on arcade mode at all. I figured that if it was a choice between arcade and realistic I was goign to die trying to make it real. And I was right! But damn was it fun.

Finally about the 3rd go around I was able to make the Apache perform mostly the way I wanted it to. I learned simple things like graceful banked turns, the ability to stop from a charged rush, and most importantly the ability to guide the aircraft gently across a terrain hugging the topology while EVER so slightly making gentle turns with the nose to bring the gun systems baring down on targets. I have always had this problem with flight games. To properly strafe a ground target you always have to do a nose dive, but with a helicopter game as long as you are moving forward the nose of the aircraft is always dipped down. It is only when you realize that you are about to smash into a mountain that you inevitably pull back and now the nose and weapon systems are now pointing at the sky like a noob in an FPS.

I found a comment on one of thee YouTube videos that states so much about this demo/game:

imagine trying to play mw2s chopper gunner on a unicycle thats rigged with explosive mines which will blow up if you get too close to a wall.
this is how cool this game is on realistic -
douboymkIII

I stupidly recommend this game if you get a kick out of flying or helicopters. If you like flying helicopters, well then this game is made exactly for you! I will post 2 videos for this game since it rocks balls.

Verdict: ~~Fuck yeah!~~ edit: PURCHASED 3 days later

This guys "Lets Play" pretty much sums up the awesome. You just gotta play this game in cockpit and not third person.

Day 15 - Kain & Lynch: Dead Men

2011-01-15T07:05:00.003-05:00

Kain & Lynch: Dead Men

Developer: IO Interactive

Publisher: Eidos Interactive

PS3

I was pleasantly surprised with this demo. I enjoyed it but it was fairly brief. I died several times but the more I got the hang of the controls and rules of the game I was more and more lethal.

This FPS demo dumps you in to a mission where you must recover a briefcase. No lie, just a briefcase. The dialog doesn't tell you what the hell is actually in the case the entire demo, but you sure are shooting the crap out of some random Japanese high rise office building trying to get it back. You fight your way to the roof, repel down the side, blow open a hole in the building, and then battle your way back down to the lobby.

The controls were acceptable once I tweaked some sensitivity, and learned all the buttons. I decided about half way through the mission to just use the handgun for most killing since the carbine had a large kick back rise. In this mission you are wearing cover-alls and a hood so I don't know what the character models actually look like. There is a great mechanic where your partner saves you if you die, but if you die too soon after that you OD when he hits you with the drugs. So if you mess up once you get a pass which was acceptable. Otherwise you must restart from the last auto save.

Verdict: Buy cheap

Day 14 - Dead Space: Dismemberment

2011-01-14T07:00:00.003-05:00

Dead Space: Dismemberment

Developer: EA Redwood

Publisher: EA

PS3

Dead Space: Dismemberment is a survivor horror game that is fairly popular. In the demo you are dumped into a space ship hallway. Your objective is to start the engines. Sounds simple right?

I went up a ramp and through an airlock. Along the way I had a radio message saying to "forget attacking their torsos and shoot for the limbs". Ok. Sounds easy enough. I am flooded by enemies creeping toward me. I shoot. The gun does little. I panic. I die.

I did this 6 times in a row.

Finally I discover and figure out how to shoot and use this levitating circular saw thing. I was able to crudely hack their limbs off. I did this over and over and over again. New enemy, fresh blood and gore spatter across the floor. Finally I battle my way to the other side of this small room. I find a control panel and flip it. The engines start!

I return to the air lock and open it. A larger enemy guts me. The demo ends. I delete the demo from the PS3.

Verdict: Meh. Will not be buying.

Day 13 - Hot Shots Golf: Out of Bounds

2011-01-13T06:56:00.001-05:00

Hot Shots Golf: Out of Bounds

Developer: Clap Hanz

Publisher: Sony

PS3

I was not sure what to expect from this title's demo. I knew going in to it that it was a popular franchise from hearing about podcasters at 1up.com talk about it frequently. I just was not sure if it was going to be a kiddie game like Wii Golf or not, given the cartoon-like avatar graphics. It ended up being a mix between Wii Golf and Tiger Woods which was a pleasant surprise.

The avatar graphics and animations scream Wii Golf. There is no denying that. But the course, sound effects, and physics are all big boy game caliber pushing it far beyond Wii range. I could spend an entire afternoon possible blogging just on the putting mechanics but honestly in the short time I played the demo I only learned a 10th of what you would need to perfect to master the game.

In the end, I enjoyed this demo, and for people who enjoy mulitplayer sports titles this is a perfect add to their collection. But for me I just would not have the time or will power to learn much beyond the basics. At least with Wii Golf I can be an above your average mindless player with less effort. But I get this at the cost of visuals, sound, and control. That and you have to look like an ass using motion control instead of a button like on Hot Shots.

Verdict: Deleted

Day 12 - Condemned 2: Bloodshot

2011-01-12T06:26:00.008-05:00

Condemned 2: Bloodshot

Developer: Monolith Studios

Publisher: SEGA!

PS3

So apparently this is supposed to be scary. Perhaps it was the beer, perhaps the lights on in the room, or maybe just maybe the laughable game play. I never played the original Condemned but I have read somewhere that the story line in the first one is better. In the demo of the second you start off as a guy named Ethan Thomas. You are an ex cop I guess who is now an alcoholic and a transient. To put it simply, you look like a complete douche/stalker rapist. I will post a photo below of just how douchey. The only way they could make him douchier would be to make him where a dirty polo with a popped (or activated) collar. That or this guy:

Condemned 3: You guys suck and I rule

"Ladies! Need a ruffey?"

The enemies are mostly typical survivor horror spring loaded cat style enemies who attack you from behind. Its ok though, your character is such a douche that they all want to have the anal sex with him. One look at his face usually makes them flee in terror from you. Other common enemies in the demo are these "tar monsters" who climb out of tar covered walls and run at you.

I picked up a drive shaft early in the game. I used it to make "things go squish". You can pick up a variety of weapons to melee with and bludgeon anything that comes close with. Pretty much the rule of thumb is, in boring empty worlds like the ones in Condemned 2: Bloodshot, if you see it move hit it. Hit is hard and keep hitting it until it squishes or explodes.

The game is very "gooey".

Regardless the demo left me bored. I cut it off to watch Yo Gabba Gabba with my son. DJ Lance could totally kick Ethan Thomas's ass in a dance off!

Verdict: Deleted with a drive shaft

Day 11 - Infamous

2011-01-11T07:00:00.000-05:00

Infamous

Developer: Sucker Punch Productions

Publisher: Sony

PS3

I had higher hopes for this demo. I downloaded it a long time back and somehow made my way through most of it. But setting it aside for a few months and revisiting it for this project made it worst somehow. Perhaps I was a victim of the hype near it's launch? Or perhaps it has come to a point where I have played so many demos and game types that I just don't care for it anymore.

Hype aside, my latest visit to this game left me sad. I wanted it to be awesome and over the top and it just wasn't. The enemies were uber-meh and lacked that solid face that made you just want to punch them squarely in. The mission/tutorial was on rails, literally...you had to keep a frickin rail car moving forward while constantly fighting off waves of boring similar enemies, charging stupid boxes of electricity below the tracks, and doing your best not to throw the controller across the room in anger from the annoying jump-lock on object mechanic. There were a few times where I would just be trying to jump down 1 foot to the ground and end up balancing on a rail a few feet away. I mean if you climb or jump to or from anything why even have ground?

I think I killed a half dozen innocent bystanders who ran in front of me. Hope they don't hold a grudge. Idiots.

Collateral damage aside, the game just didn't feel fun anymore. I have overcome hype! Yay.

Verdict: Not buying. Deleted demo.

Day 10 - Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Storm

2011-01-10T06:17:00.003-05:00

Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Storm

Developer: CyberConnect2

Publisher: Namco Bandai Games

PS3

Here at DJPimpDaddy's blog I try to be brutally honest. I typically don't favor straight fighting games. I got off that boat back in the SNES days with Super Street Fighter 2. I laugh when I hear in depth discussion between experts on technique, how stick design gives them an edge, counting frames, and counter attack techniques. My eyes roll a little and if it is a podcast, I skip ahead a few minutes to get past it. To the right person it may seem interesting but to me it is pointless babble. I am and will always be one of those people who either randomly mash buttons without reading the instructions of just spam one single attack style until the enemy perishes.

This game however did keep my attention. The cell shaded art style was very well done and the action sequences were easy to watch, and sometimes entertainingly funny. I have not watched any anime beyond the Cowboy Bebop movie, so something along the lines of Naruto would be beyond me. The great news is, the demo just dumps you into a fight with no BS forward story, or painful tutorials.

Not knowing anything I was able to bumble my way to a victory against whomever the hell I was fighting. At one point my character split in to hundreds of identical characters and we all piled on him like the cop car wreck scene in the Blues Brothers. Then, once we had a pyramid - o - Naruto, the last guy grabbed the guy in front of him's legs and yanked. Eventually I had a wicked long chain of Naruto that I wiped around a few times and then smashed "myselves" into the character. I thought that it would have been a finishing move but I was wrong, that was just one single combo.

In the end it was too bizarre. But I did get some entertainment out of the demo. To an anime lover, perhaps it would be a great buy.

Verdict: Won't buy

Day 9 - Fracture

2011-01-09T18:16:00.000-05:00

Fracture

Developer: Day 1 Studios

Publisher: LucasArts

PS3

Yawn.

This game is very exciting(sarcasm). This space marine FPS demo held up to it's name, since about half way through the demo the game's 5.1 surround gorked out and I was left with surround sound static noise. It was like someone was running around the room dragging their fingernails across a chalk board. I had to turn it off. It was bad.

Before the "fracture" in the audio occured I was falling asleep playing this demo. The training mission was about as painful as you could possibly make it, forcing you to read, listen, and then do every last detail.

The defining factor of this game is your ability to either fracture the earth (or specifically dirt patches) up or down in terrain with your weapon. Apparently the weapon only works on swelling the dirt up, since my repeated shooting of my players crotch did nothing better than some Viagra could have done.

The enemies in the demo were laughably easy, predictable, and you could many times pick them off before they even notice you. Did I mention that you can raise dirt yet? Yeah...

This game is published by LucasArts. COME ON GUYS! I expect a tad higher quality from you. I still don't prefer Star Wars overall, but I at least hold the idea in my mind that when I see LucasArts on something it should be above par, and not make me want to stab my ears from the painful static sounds. You have failed LucasArts. You have failed. You failed so bad, that I ended up choosing to delete your game and instead sit and watch an episode of Little Bear on Nick Jr on demand with my son instead of retrying your demo. That is how bad you failed: frickin Little Bear!

Verdict: You suck LucasArts